A Tearful Ocean
by degrassifreak87
Summary: I was still in love with him, and would always be in love with him. No matter what. A Semma fic.
1. Prologue I still love him

**Summary: **I was still in love with him, and would always be in love with him. No matter what.

**Coupling: **Emma and Peter _Pemma_ and Emma and Sean _Semma_.

**A/N: **Okay, I just thought of this last night. And so, I thought Id post it on here. I hope you like it. Please, if you read it- review, so that I know if you like it. Thank you.

Oh, and obviously I dont own Degrassi..because, if I did, I wouldnt be on here writing this.

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**A Tearful Ocean**

The wind blew down hard, making the surrounding trees in the area sway back and forth. I slowly walked down the gravel road, holding onto my light teal jacket softly. My wild wind-blown blonde hair flew around in the air, about to turn into a tangled mess. I didn't care much about that, though, seeing as though I had more important things to worry about than my hair. Those important things were the reasons why I was casually walking down the windy streets of Toronto, Canada.

Perfect is a word I most definitely could not use to describe my life, nor a word I could use to describe my love life, but still- I had thought everything with Peter was going along pretty well. My once hate for him eventually had turned into a possible friendship, and then into something much deeper than that. But, when he had teamed up with Manny just so that he could help me with my eating disorder, that's when I knew that I seriously loved him more than anything in the world.

Of course, that was before he came back to town. The first guy I ever loved. The guy I had shared my first kiss with was back in town after a year of living with his parents in Wasaga Beach, after he had shot and killed Rick Murray. When I had strolled into 'The Dot' with Manny and Peter on either side of me, I was the first to notice him. He was sitting at the counter, holding a cup full of soda in his left hand. A black beanie was on top of his dirty blonde newly-curly head and a dark-coloured jean jacket sat carelessly on his shoulders. A smile was plastered on his handsome face, as he conversed with Spinner.

I had sent Manny some useless gestures with my head and eyes, but she didn't pick up on any of them. Sighing, I looked back over in Sean's direction, and realized he hadn't noticed me yet. "Um..." I started to studder a bit. "Why don't you two get us a seat and I'll be back in a nano-second?" I suggested, not taking my eyes off of the right-side of Sean's face. "I just want to talk to somebody really quick."

"Oh, alright." Peter had caved to my suggestion and started to gaze around the room for an empty table. He had spotted one and nudged Manny gently in the side as I made my way over to Sean.

"Is this seat taken?" I had unintentionally flirted with him, right as my boyfriend and my best friend took their seats by the window.

Spinner had smirked and pointed over at me, making Sean's head turn to the side and face me. The smile that had been on his face grew larger as he stared at me. "Emma, hi! It's so good to see you again."

"Like-wise!" I had agreed with him, sending him a small smile. I turned my head and glanced over at Peter and Manny. I let out a sigh and turned my attention back to Sean. "Listen, I'd love to get together sometime and catch-up a bit, because I can't right now." I glanced back over at Peter and Manny, who looked to be talking a bit. I had smiled to myself, thrilled that they were slowly starting to become friends. "So, just call my cell sometime- that is if you still have my number- and we'll make some plans or something." I sent him another faint smile.

Sean had continued to smile at me, while Spinner looked over at both of us smirking the whole time. "Yeah...yeah, I still have your number," he assured me. "Okay, that...that sounds great. I'll call you soon and make plans whenever we're both free."

I had slowly slipped off of the cushioned metal stool and stood firmly onto the ground. "Okay, sounds great. I'll talk to you soon then. It was really nice seeing you again. Bye Sean." I let a slow breath of air float out of my mouth as I made my way over to the table Peter had picked out for the three of us.

That was why I slowly walked down the gravel road, holding onto my light teal jacket softly. That is why I didn't care about my wild wind-blown blonde hair flying around in the wind, about to turn into a tangled mess. That's why I didn't even bat an eye when a light rain started to fall from the cotton white clouds, quickly soaking my hair and clothes.

None of that bothered me, because after running into Sean Cameron for the first time in a little over a year, I realized something. I was still in love with him, and would always be in love with him. No matter what.


	2. Chapter 1 Hangout, maybe?

Okay, so Ive been working on this for a while, but I just finished it. Hopefully, its interesting enough. Sorry if theres anything misspelled, or if theres any grammar mistakes. I havent been able to re-read it, so yeah.

Thank you so much for all of the reviews! I cant believe I recieved so many! Thank you again.

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**Chapter One **- "Hang-out, maybe?" 

I dragged my tired body through my front door of the house I shared with my mother, step-father, best friend and little brother and quickly removed my soaking wet jacket. Shaking the rain off of it a bit and then hung it up with the rest of the jackets. I ran my hands through my tangled hair and sighed, knowing it would be murder trying to brush out. As I walked further into the house, I smelled food either my mother or Snake was cooking, most likely my mother, though.

Suddenly, Manny emerged from the kitchen, holding onto a cell phone. As she came closer to me, I realized it was my cell phone. I wrinkled my forehead up wondering what was going on and why she had my cell phone in her hand.

"Em, I've been waiting for you to come home," she greeted me, still holding onto my cell phone tightly. "Is there something you want to tell me? While you were gone, somebody called you...Sean. When I asked him why he was calling, he told me it was because you told him to," Manny explained to me.  
"When did you talk to Sean, Em? And why did you tell him to call you?"

I reached over to her and snatched my cell phone out of her hands. "I saw him the other day at 'The Dot' and I went over to talk to him," I shrugged. "It's not a big deal or anything, Manny. I just went over to talk to him, since I haven't seen him since he went back to Wasaga Beach. We talked for, like, five seconds, if that. I told him to give me a call sometime and we'd catch-up. He said he would. We're friends, Manny, that's all."

Manny stared at me, like she wasn't sure I was being trueful. "And Peter knows about him and everything, right?" I didn't answer her question. "Emma! You didn't tell Peter about Sean? Why not? If you two are just friends then I don't see why Peter shouldn't know that you're hanging-out with him?" She asked, cocking her eyebrows at me.

I sighed. "Manny, if Peter knew he'd become jealous or something. And there's nothing to be jealous about. Sean and I have been over for a long time now. Plus, he has been dating Ellie Nash for the longest time now, he probably came back for _her_." I held my cell phone in my hand, and strolled over to my couch.

I began thinking about calling him. Making plans to meet up with him someday this week. Heading somewhere where we could talk about everything that had happened in our lives since we last saw each other. Talk about how we had missed each other. Talk about how we still loved each other. Talk about how we still want to be together.

"You're thinking about him right now, aren't you?" Manny asked him, interrupting my thoughts. I looked up at her, witnessing a smirk spread across her face.

"Manny!" I laughed, looking over at her. "I told you, we're just friends, okay? I'm with Peter, not Sean. Peter..."

After dinner, while Manny decided to call Craig, I exited the house and took a seat on my porch. Watching the drops of rain fall down, I thought about Sean. He had looked so different from what he did when I had last saw him. He had longer and curlier hair, and no longer wore his grey hoodie. He had looked happy, no longer frowning and scowling. It had made him look even better than he had before.

Finally, I worked up the courage to phone him. I flipped open my cell phone, and clicked onto my recieved calls list. There was only one number on the list, since I liked to clean it everyday. Knowing that, I knew the number had to belong to Sean. I clicked on the green button, and it began to ring.  
After a few rings, I heard somebody pick up the phone. "Hey Emma," Sean greeted him. "I was wondering if Manny was going to tell you I called. I guess she did," he chuckled.

I looked out at the street, still watching the rain coming down. "Yeah, she told me. I figured I'd call you up after dinner. When I had some time to talk." I found myself not knowing what to say. "So, um...what's going on?"

"Nothing," he answered. There was a short pause, though I could hear somebody talking in the background. "Hey, are you busy right now?" He asked, suddenly. "It's just, it's kind of loud here. I was wondering if you'd want to hang-out, maybe?"

I sat there, staring out at the rain coming down, thinking about how I should answer that question. _Peter, remember Peter? He's your boyfriend now, not Sean. Not Sean. Don't into yourself into a bizarre time warp of five, four and three years ago_. I argued with mental thoughts for a few seconds, going back and forth with the pro's and con's for each choice. Without fully preparing my speech out, though, I heard my voice open and begin to speak. "Sure, I'd love to."

"Alright!" Sean spoke, his voice oozed of excitement, which made me mentally giggle. "I'll pick you up in a few minutes. Tracker moved back, and I have my lisence, so I can pick you up with his car. He sold his motocycle," he informed me.

"Okay, I'll be outside my house waiting," I found myself explain to Sean. Smiling, as if I was actually proud of myself, I hung-up my cell phone and silently waited for Sean to show up in Tracker's new car, and drive me off to parts unknown to Peter.

I felt horrible, though, like just by agreeing to have a little chat with Sean Cameron, my ex-boyfriend and the love of my life, I was cheating on Peter. But, deep down I knew there were many questions I needed Sean to answer for me, and the top question on my mind was why he would want to speak with me and not Ellie Nash, his girlfriend when he left town.


	3. Chapter 2 The Kiss

_**Author's Note:** Hi everyone! I'm so incredibly sorry for my lack of updates in this story. But, my computer wasn't working for a while and then I wasn't sure what to write for it. I finally did update, though, and just now, too. So, most of this was written months ago, whereas, the very end was just written. If you can tell the difference, that's why. This chapter really isn't "up to par", so again, I apologize for that. And, thank you in advance for anyone who will read this and to everyone who has read this in the past. You're all awesome._

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**Chapter Two**  
As I waited for Sean to arrive, I casually walked through the front door and picked up my light blue umbrella. "I'm going out with a friend," I called out, hoping that one of the parental units heard me. I spun around, my back facing the house, and quietly opened the door again. Just as I was about to slip out, however, I heard somebody's footsteps behind me. I hoped that the footsteps didn't belong to Manny, since I didn't want to be asked a million times if the friend I was hanging-out with was Sean.

When I turned around, though, I found my mother standing there, a plate and a rag in her hand. "You're going out without Manny?" She questioned me, as if I had to do everything with my best friend. I nodded my head, and began to leave again. "Hold it, honey. Where are you going and with who? Are you going out with Peter? Just be sure to be back at a decent hour. Snake and I don't want to hear you sneaking in late at night, okay?"

I sighed at her, deciding to tell her it wasn't Peter I was hanging-out with. "No, it's not Peter, okay? I'm just going to hang-out with a _friend_. Somebody I haven't seen in a long time, that's all. Now, I have to go, because he'll be here soon." The color on my face drained, realizing I had said 'he.' I immediately opened up the front door and slipped out. "Oh, and if Peter calls, just tell him I'm out, okay?" I yelled as loud as I could, knowing that my mom had heard it.

Sinking into the semi-soaked plastic chair, I found myself waiting for Sean to pull his car up to my house. Every second that passed felt like hours, until finally, I noticed a beaten-up cherry red 2005 Sedan drive down the street and park in front of my house, as if it had been there a million times before. With a smile appearing on my face, I forced my body out of the chair and hurried over to the still car.

"Let me get that for you," Sean offered with a laugh, after he rolled down the passenger side window. Juggling the handle a few times, suddenly, the door jolted open and I climbed inside. "Sorry about that. Sometimes the door doesn't open, though," he explained, as I rolled the window back up and fastened my seatbelt. "So, where do you want to go?" He asked me, as he glanced over in my direction.

The question was simple, yet complicated at the same time. I couldn't mention the local Degrassi hang-out, 'The Dot Grille' for the fact somebody would most likely notice us there together and word would get around. One thing I hated more than people who polluted the once-clean air we needed to live and those who stuffed down a double bacon cheeseburger without wondering where it came from was rumors and gossip. Not only that, but I hated hurting and lying to people I loved, like Peter and Manny.

Turning to my right side, my eyes went right to Sean's face and, for a second, I couldn't breath, think or talk. Studing his stunning features, I was remembered of all the past memories, both happy and sad, we shared together. His lips were shaped in a smile, as he stared back at me, but not saying a word. The same lips I had kissed for the first time years ago at my mother's wedding, even though I had claimed to be angry at him.

Without mulling over the consequences of my lustful actions, I closed the small gap between us by leaning toward his lean body and placing my hands on both sides of his face. Just as my raspberry flavored lips touched his soft ones, I knew this was what I wanted ever since I saw him sitting at the counter in 'The Dot' only a few short days ago. Deepening the kiss, he ran his hands through my honey lemon blonde hair, bringing himself even closer to me.

We continued our secret activites for what felt like a hour, but then forced our bodies away from each other. Running a hand through my hair, I shifted in my seat, so that I could gaze out the window at my house. "Anywhere would be good," I replied to the question he had asked me minutes before my femine urges took over. "Sean," I slowly added, changing my position once again. "What just happened...I-I..."

"You have a boyfriend," he answered for me, not sounding the least bit shocked. "Yeah, I know. Peter, right? Isn't he Hatzilakos' kid?" He asked, a hint of laughter in his voice. As if he was reading my mind, he smiled at me, "I do have ears, Emma. I heard that you were with a new guy. It's not like I can't believe it. You're perfect, of course you wouldn't have waited around for me to make decisions and choices and figure out what I was doing with my life."

A confused expression washed over my face, as I stared at him and began to use my hands to communicate my words. "Sean, what are you talking about? The last time you were in Toronto, it was after the shooting. Back then you were dating Ellie, not me. Why aren't you back in town getting updated and making-out with her? Why are you doing this to me?" I asked, my voice coming out like a scared little child's. "I'm just confused, very confused."

He shook his head and twisted his body around so he wasn't facing me. "I know, and I did love Ellie. She was awesome, but she's just...she's not you. I always loved you more than her, and no matter, I won't stop. Even if you're dating this Peter guy, it doesn't matter. I can't turn off my feelings for you, Em." He looked back over at me and smirked, something I remembered all too well. "Look, we could just go somewhere and catch-up with each other's lives, it doesn't have to be anything more than that. And, about what happened, it'll never happen again."

"So," I heard Manny's voice, as she poked her head into the basement bathroom we shared together, "where were you? Spike said you went out with a friend, but I don't know what friend that would be seeing as though we have the same friends. Emma Nelson, you went out with Sean, didn't you? What about Peter? Are you still dating him, or did you break-up with him for Sean?"

I rolled my eyes, spit out my tooth paste and grabbed a towel to wipe my face clean. "No, I didn't break-up with Peter. Why would I? Nothing is going on with Sean and I, Manny. It's possible to have guy friends that remain just friends. I mean, hello, what are J.T. and Toby? They're my friends and you don't see me hooking-up with them, now do you?" I asked her, a little bitter.

Manny crossed her arms and laughed at what I had said to her. "Yeah, true, but you haven't dated J.T. and Toby before. You and Sean have a very long and very confusing relationship." I pushed passed her and crawled into the small bed the two of us had shared for several months. She followed my every step, though, and sat indian-style on the edge, still wanting for answers. "Em, he was your first boyfriend, your first kiss. I would understand if you still had feelings for him, but you're with Peter. Are you willing to hurt him and give-up on everything you have with him for Sean?"

"Then understand this, nothing is going on with Sean and me. We just went out to catch-up on everything, since he's been gone almost two years. Don't worry about it, Manny. I'm dating Peter, I love Peter. And, anyway, you don't even like Peter, so you shouldn't care so much." Realizing she was giving me an odd look, I nervously laughed. "Not that anything is going on, though. So, just lie down and go to sleep before you lose your mind from worrying about my love life so much."

My brunette best friend since preschool shrugged her shoulders and actually didn't reply with anything else. Instead, she just uncrossed her legs and laid down, resting her head on her pillow. I reached over to the table and switched off my lamp, ready to go to sleep. "I just worry about you, Em. That's all," Manny finally spoke up once again. "You're my best friend and I love you. I just want you to be happy, you know that, right?"

"Yeah," I responded, a smile spreading across my face. "I know, thank you." With that, we both finished our conversation and drifted into dreamland. Images of Craig most likely taking over Manny's dreams, whereas the kiss Sean and I had shared earlier in the day re-played over and over in my mind, as if it had been taped to be watched in the future. A smile as wide as an ocean spread across my face.


	4. Chapter 3 Awkward Conversation

_Author's Note: First off, thank you_ _BeautifulxDreamer and bananas.eat.grapes for your awesome reviews. I honestly didn't think ANYBODY would review seeing as though it took me so long to update. Second off, I wasn't planning on updating so quickly, but I was bored one night so I typed up chapter three and decided to post it. So, if you like it, thank boredom? Third off, I had Emma sing the song "Rather Be With You" by Vanessa Anne Hudgens out-loud is because those lines best reflect how Emma is feeling towards Sean, if you didn't get it. And, umm, I think that's about it -- the last thing is, though, I hope I'm doing a good job at writing Emma and Sean's relationship, since they aren't my favorite couple. (Spaige is.) But, Semma/Eman is definitely in my top three. :)_

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**  
Chapter Three**  
"I rather be with you, baby," I softly sung aloud, as I sat comfortably in my porch chair. I held the top of my light pink nail polish bottle in my hand as I slowly, but surely, finished the rest of my pointer fingernail. "You know what you're doing to me. Yeah, you're the one, the only one that sets it all on fire," I continued to sing to the song that was playing on my iPod.

"Hey Em," a loud voice spoke to me, causing me to jump, since it was boomed over the music coming from my headphones. When I looked up at the face the voice belonged to, I felt my heart sink into my stomach. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" Peter questioned me, a smile on his face. He pulled the plastic chair that rested next to the one I was in closer to his body and took a seat in it. "I tried calling you last night, but Spike said you were out."

Nervously, my hands traveled up to my head and I removed my headphones from my ears. Sickness quickly began to take over my body, as I remembered the kiss I shared with Sean the night before. Peter didn't deserve to be treated like this, he didn't deserve a girlfriend like me. Looking over at him, seeing him smile at me, I couldn't bare to tell him about Sean. Peter was amazing through all of my drama, and for me to shatter his heart wouldn't be fair of me.

"Oh, I went over to Liberty's," I replied to him, twisting my body so that I could look at him, a glowing smile on my face. "She wasn't feeling well, so I thought I should bring her over some soup, you know me," a laugh escaped out of my mouth, "always trying to help people." I felt my stomach do a cartwheel and turned away to gaze at the street, instead of my facing the person I was secretly hurting.

Peter grinned and leaned in closer to me. I knew what he wanted, he wanted to kiss my lips, the same ones I used to kiss Sean with. "If you really wanted to help other's," he seductively whispered into my ear. "You'd kiss me. A kiss from you always helps me."

"What do you need help with?" I turned the tables on him, by changing the subject. I couldn't kiss him, not after what I had done. Even if Peter was my boyfriend, and not Sean, I couldn't help help but feel more connected to Sean than Peter. No matter what, Sean would always be my first and only love, and I couldn't ignore it this time.

A sigh came out of his mouth, and he backed off of me. "My parents are fighting again," he semi-explained to me. There was sadness in his voice, which made me feel even worse for what had happened. "My mom wants full custody, but my dad won't let her. And, I have to hear it all, since it's about me. I don't want to choose between my parents, you know?"

"Oh, Peter," I cried, throwing my arms around his body. He rested his head on my shoulder, as I lightly patted his back. Everyone thought of Peter as a cruel teenaged boy with no feelings whatsoever, especially after what he did to Manny, but after dating him, I realized he was much more than his supposed label. "I'm really sorry. That must suck. Is that why you called me last night?"

He broke away from me and sat straight up. "Yeah," he answered, regaining his composuer. "It's no big deal, though. They fight all the time, it doesn't mean anything," he reminded me, for what seemed like the millionth time since I had the pleasure of being in the same room with them together. I only nodded my head and blew on my nails, so that they would dry faster.

We stayed in place for the next couple of minutes, as I stared down at my unfinished nails and as Peter glanced around my whole street, taking it in as if he had never seen it before. Suddenly, he began to talk, but I found myself interrupting him. "Manny and I have to baby-sit tonight," he informed him, not thinking of what I was saying. "So, I should probably go inside and decide what's appropriate for Jack to watch."

"Oh," Peter uttered, clearly disappointed in what I had told him, but then lit up. "Hey, do you think I could baby-sit with you two? I'm not real sure how I am with babies, but you could show me how to take care of them. Plus, we could have a lot of fun," he hinted with me.

I rolled my eyes and stood up out of my seat, picking up my iPod and headphones in the process. "Peter, you can't help baby-sit. Manny and I have plans to watch a lot of chick flicks and eat a ton of ice cream. And, anyway, I know what you're hinting at, and I'm not ready for it, especially in a house with Manny and my little brother." I moved across the porch and over to my front door. "But, I'll call you, okay?" Without waiting for a response, I walked inside my house and closed the door, leaving Peter sitting on my porch alone.


End file.
